Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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