im drinking this country out of the recession.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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