apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
