Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
