your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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