Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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