btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
