I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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