If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
