sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
