Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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