Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize