handjob tips. give me some.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
