I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
