pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
