i just wanna soil my oats bro
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize