i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
