remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
