Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
