at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
the liver wants what the liver wants
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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