Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
