I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
