dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
