Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
