I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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