I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
