Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do herpes really smell.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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