honey bunches of taint.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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