oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
