But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
