Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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