can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize