im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
