Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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