The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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