M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
