Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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