Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
