i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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