I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
