TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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