should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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