Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
