yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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