I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
