She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
