worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So I just went to clothing optional bar
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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