If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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