Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
