We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
