Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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