how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
