Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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