I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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