that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He uses pillows to masturbate.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
