Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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