Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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