i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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