careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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