It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
