are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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