you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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