If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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