I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
