Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
