Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
