The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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