I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
be right there i have to get my cape
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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