I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
