8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
