Too much gin, very little bucket
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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