They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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