laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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