Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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