So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
