Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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