just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
