I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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