a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
