He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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