Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
